Autumn in Oxford

Fog is creeping along "on cat's feet" through the streets of Oxford, giving the glorious fall colors a mystical feel. I can hardly believe it's almost Thanksgiving. Nick and I pulled out the camera not long ago for an after-church photo shoot to capture Liam in action at our house. I am amazed at how much he's changed in just the past few months!

Remember, remember the 5th of November

All over England tonight, people will commemorate the failed assasination of King James I in 1605 with Guy Fawkes Night.  The holiday is named for Guy Fawkes, one of 12 conspirators--and the one who happened to be caught red-handed at midnight in the basement of the House of Lords with 36 barrels of gunpowder--enough to reduce Parliament to rubble.

According to J.A. Sharpe, Fawkes is sometimes referred to, jokingly, as "the only man ever to enter Parliament with honest intentions." Ha!

Every year on Nov. 5, people celebrate with fireworks, bonfires,  notoriously riotous behavior and the occasional burning of an effigy of Guy (Yes, these bitter people throw a stuffed doll--a "Guy" on the bonfire just for spite). Sometimes they substitute other current hated public figures. I'm afraid to know who they'll throw on the fire this election season!

The self-proclaimed "commoners" of Wolvercote have put together a doozy of a bonfire beside the Plough Inn, just at the end of our street. The bonfire is as big as a small house and contains no less than three dressers, four picnic tables and countless felled trees. Our family will join the village in  a BBQ where we'll eat "jacket" potaotes (baked potatoes) around the fire and watch fireworks--they've kindly moved the cows off the Green just for the occasion.


Maybe we'll "have a go" at some of these other traditional Nov. 5 foods while we're there: Bangers and Mash (sausages and mashed potatoes), Black Treacle (Molasses), Toffee Apples, Black Peas with Vinegar, and Potato pie with Pickled Red Cabbage. Yum!

I'll leave you with a traditonal rhyme that commemorates the failed Gunpowder Plot. It sums up the story well, even if does end rather viciously:


Remember, remember the Fifth of November, 
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot, 
I know of no reason 
Why the Gunpowder Treason 
Should ever be forgot. 
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent 
To blow up the King and Parli'ment. 
Three-score barrels of powder below 
To prove old England's overthrow; 
By God's providence he was catch'd (or by God's mercy*) 
With a dark lantern and burning match. 
Holla boys, Holla boys, let the bells ring. 
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King! 
And what should we do with him? Burn him!

 

(Pictures to come!)

Just say no.

Ne. La. Ochi. Hapana. Non. Uh-uh. Naw. When pigs fly.  I found a website with the word "no" in over  250 languages for a little inspiration. "No" in English is only two letters. How can such a short word be so difficult to utter?

Collective wisdom advises that in order to live an effective life, you have to learn to say no. I've heard this advice so many times, the phrase is rendered meaningless. What does it actually mean to learn to say no and how could it be life-changing?


 Half of that battle for me is deciding which activities and responsibilities are worth inclusion in 24 hours of my day and which are not. The other half of the battle is facing the constant demands on my time, money and energy and communicating that decision with the resolve of a running back greasing through 300 pound linemen. (Take note of my visual of Marion the Barbarian Barber, Dallas running back, here.)

Resolve is the key. Crumbling under the intensity of puppy-dog eyes and "desperate" needs that aren't truly desperate is far too easy.

 I'll just tell you--I don't often make it through the linemen in the "no" department. I usually end up meandering around the field. I stop to chat with the linemen, find out how the mascot is doing, help a cheerleader fix her hair, stop for a sip of Gatorade and find myself in line for a hot dog all before I know what happened.

I thought I should post about saying "no" after a phone conversation I had yesterday. I was planning to call in a favor of help to paint furniture. One thing led to another in the phone conversation and I hung up with no painting help and a new responsibility to cook dinner for ten people. I'm not even sure how it happened!

Before you start raising money to send me to assertiveness classes, I will acknowledge the dinner was a blessing and fit in well with our priorities for the week. And we'll do the painting later. But the way my plans can so easily sway in the throes of the thoughts and feelings of others was sobering indeed!

Why don't I say no? Am I afraid of hurting someone else's feelings? Afraid of the way it will make me look? Afraid of being or appearing selfish? Afraid I'm not being servant-hearted enough? Afraid of confrontation? Afraid of missing an opportunity that could be life-changing?

As a believer, I think I am called to have a different perspective on "yes" and "no" than the world. I don't have to be driven by a "me" culture where I am the center of the universe. I am called to lay down my life.

But the reality is that no one can say yes to everything. If I don't choose to say no to some things on the front end, I will end up saying no to them by default when I run out of time to give them my attention.

Often, those who suffer my "default nos" are those I love the most. Do I have time to be considerate and calm with my husband? Time to be patient with my child? Time to pray? Time to live life without feeling like I am always running for the bus? So yes, I want to be eager to serve, to love, to give, to volunteer and to make sacrifices. I must also pray for wisdom that I can choose carefully how I will invest the hours God has given me in the areas in which He's called me.

Here's a link I found interesting on "Seven ways to say no." I'm not necessarily endorsing this website as a whole (and even this post I'm linking could be taken as a little manipulative), but I laughed when I read it and have to say it might just come in handy next time I am trying to say no!

(This advice beats telling people you need to stay home and wash your hair or read the expiration dates on your dairy products.)

Enjoy!

~Laura Lee

Everything I need to know I learned from Chinese acrobats

What does a balanced life look like?

The new school year is like New Year's for me when it comes to making resolutions. I LOVE fresh starts and I welcome the opportunity to plan how "this term, we can get our act together."

Nick and I were talking about to-do list and goals and what life would look like for the new term and I found myself rattling off my usual list of all the aspects of my life I wanted to keep in balance. I am now starting to wonder what balance actually looks like.

 I mean, type in a google search of "balance" and you can find all kinds of crazy images of superhuman feats. Check out this photo, for instance.

Weird, amazing and totally superfluous, these Chinese circus performers are teaching me a lesson. Sure, everything is in balance, but do I want my life to be in balance in a Chinese circus performer kind of way? This is my plea for a simple life.

 Sure, it's fun for people to ask "How do you do it all?" and feel some sense of accomplishment from the sheer number of things we are tackling in life right now. But we need to evaluate if we are carrying around more than is necessary--or bordering on the ridiculous. Are we doing what we must do and doing it well? I want to. Do I try to accomplish too much trying to be the superhero that nobody can be? 

Do I really want my life to be a constant circus act, "in balance" but just barely, always flirting with dramatic collapse if one thing goes awry? I want to find the kind of balance that doesn't need a fancy pink costume and isn't done for the sake of wowing the crowd. A grounded life, at home with my God and who He made me to be. 

Yes, I suppose I will always need to keep the plates spinning, and no one can fully remove the performer in me, but I will try to keep the acrobatics to a minimum.

But I'm going to need help. I have no idea, really, how to simplify my life. In fact, on any given day, I have more things I'd like to add to it--a new friend I want to meet, a new language I want to learn, a place I want to visit, a book I want to write. Then there's my husband and child who actually want to eat every single day! And there's just not enough life to fit it all in at once. So, no easy solutions here. Just trying to keep it all in balance.
How do you do it?

Laura Lee

Home sweet home

We've finally moved in to our cozy little cottage in Wolvercote on the edge of Oxford.  (Complete with recycling opportunities as you will notice from the lovely plastic container strategically placed in the corner of this otherwise picturesque photo.)
We're close to town, but just village enough not to have a house number ... just the name of the cottage and "First Turn" with a post code! How is English is that?
Liam has his own room (Hallelujah!). We can scoot just down the street for fish and chips, stroll along the canal and watch boats go by or supervise cows and sheep grazing in Port Meadow. We can bike to town center in 15 minutes (Er, theoretically. It actually took me 22 --but Nick says I am a slowpoke. I was pulling a bike trailer, a 23 pound child and a week's worth of groceries at the time, so I think slow would be an appropriate adjective for my cycling that day, thank you very much! Anyway, I digress.)
Thanks for praying for us as we searched for the right spot. God was so gracious to provide a home just when we needed one, with fabulous Christian landlords to boot. We are thrilled to embrace the community of Wolvercote and dedicate our home as a place of refuge for weary travelers, a light for searching scholars, a gathering place for people who like to have fun and fertile ground for growing together as a family in the Lord. Or maybe just as a good place to eat lasagna on a weeknight and pray for God's grace.
Ahh. I feel life slow down just as I turn the corner to our street. Please come and visit! Take a right at the "first turn" and follow the church bells pealing. You'll see us peeking out from behind a sturdy English hedge, waving you toward our corner.

8 habits to adopt before college

Here's a post that originated as an encouragement for a few homeschoolers I know who are looking ahead to college. But come to think of it, these are just important elements for success and confidence in life in general (IMHO of course). What's on your list?

Pick up your pencil (or keyboard!)

Write as much as possible.  This really is a key to success in college and future jobs. You have to be an effective communicator no matter what your field.

Get involved in your community

Pursue a variety of extracurricular activities and take advantage of volunteer opportunities. Interact with people of many different ages and walks of life. Grow as you share their stories!

Read

Love to read. Learn to read and research topics you are interested in on your own.

Take initiative

Take initiative. Don't have a great group in your town for a hobby your want to pursue? Start something!  Be the person people count on to make things happen.

Invest in people

Love people and take time to figure out how they work. Be a good friend; actually listen; learn to think of others before yourself. Remember people's names. Invest in helping others grow. Don't use people as a means to an end.

Be humble

Be humble. Remember that your situation is only a result of God's gifts to you and you are a steward of those gifts. Use them wisely. Know that there will always be someone better than you at something, but keep your confidence and be the best you can be. Cheer others on and help them succeed!

Seek mentors

Remember to seek out mentors. Don't just wait for a great mentor relationship to happen: identify people you respect and approach them. You likely learned the skill of conversing with adults and people other than those within a year of your own birthday as a homeschooler. Capitalize on this and seek out people to help you grow. 

Develop friendships with professors and learn from stimulating conversations. Most professors are happy to get to know a student who truly wants to learn and your experience will be ten times better than if you doze through your classes waiting for them to end.

Consider not just what career you want to have but what kind of person you want to be. Make this a time to shape your character.

 Keep your relationship with God central. He's the one who never leaves you or forsakes you and the One you will still be intimate with when all your college memories have faded and your roommates aren't around anymore. Fall in love with him more everyday and be faithful.

This can be an incredible season of your life: enjoy it to the fullest!

Removing Layers: The Beauty of Again and Again

Last night around midnight, I finished up the last of the day's household chores. I wanted to stay up and get them done so I could have a fresh start tomorrow with everything checked off the list. With the reward of "being done" firmly fixed in my mind, I washed the dishes from my late-night pizza crust baking for guests that would arrive tomorrow and tackled one of my least favorite jobs--scrubbing the toilet and bathtub and taking out the trash.

Liam woke up at 5 this morning and decided to start the day. I attempted to help him help him get back to sleep for two hours with no luck. So, we proceeded with breakfast. I opened a can of prunes (aka controlled mess) depitted and spread them all over his high chair tray, along with a lots of pieces of mushy banana. Liam LOVES prunes and he loves feeding himself. And the prunes loved him if attachment is any sign of affection. Every inch of grinning Liam was covered in prunes and banana by the end of the meal.

I gave  him a bath in the freshly cleaned tub, too tired to even grimace about the potential impact on the cleaning I had just done. Bathing dirty little boys are what tubs are made for!

Not more than two hours into our day, the sink is now full of breakfast dishes, the freshly cleaned tub coated with a layer of prunes and banana. Thank goodness the trash can is at least filling again slowly.
And I must clean those things before lunch!

I am struck by the power of the things that must be done again and again.

Days like this sometimes make me want to throw in my scrub brush. What's the point? It will all just get messy again right away. I remember a friend (mother of five) once said to me. "You have to think of cleaning a house with children like removing layers. Yes, the freshly mopped floor may have a glass of juice spilled on it within seconds, but it is at least one layer less dirty than it would have been."

So true!! And the more I think about it, there is something beautiful in the service of things that must be done again. They are a quiet service to my family, a part of the fiber of our home. Think of the constancy and beauty in breathing, sunsets, whispered prayers,waking up--all must be done again and again.

 I consider God's  mercy as he disciplines me and guides me and forgives me and over and over listens to my prayers. He doesn't neglect me just because he has "been there done that." He is a constant of unconditional love.

So as I head for the bathroom to remove a couple layers from the tub, I smile to myself. I'm thankful for the reminder that God is an expert on things that need doing again and again and I'm so glad He is. Maybe when these chores are "done," I'll find myself reflecting a little bit more of Him.